Unless I hear support for this so-called "Martusian" I
say we pick him apart at the seams. Not since Mr.
Bailey's ranting of someone named "Quoquill" have I
heard such blatant ego spill from an elected officials
mouth. First off lets look at this "consortium" and
break it down:
con•sor•ti•um
1.
a. An association or a combination, as of businesses,
financial institutions, or investors, for the purpose
of engaging in a joint venture.
b. A cooperative arrangement among groups or
institutions: a library consortium.
2. An association or society.
Obviously, with the above Martian dictionary
definition of the word (that lies at the very base of
this raving lunatics claim) being totally
misrepresented...you can stop reading his message as
of now.
Secondly, I OWN the Mars Global News Service, this has
been common knowledge since Mr. Tibbetts started
arguing dates of history with me over 3 years ago.
Do we really want a tyrant such as Mr. Roberts even on
Mars? Forget elected office, I say we ban him from
the red soil itself. Need reasons?

Take for example his affiliation with another "B.P.A."
party...known on earth to ESU workers
(ejection-seat-upholsterers) as "Bitch Pope Ass".
Or the most shocking example, of how he alone
populated Madagascar after the 3rd world war back on
Earth.

Mars is smaller than earth. Does humanity really need
hundreds of little Robert's tyrants imprinting there
footprints on Martian soil? I say nay.

paid for by the United Consortium Bitches








Subject: LATE FOR PRESIDENT FOR MARS
It matters not what you ampaign I am a leader of
action so say I...

Mars Global News Service
Press Release from Martian Consortium Press Officeâ€_
Subject: New Leadership of Mars
Fellow citizens, it is with great pride and enthusiasm
that the press office announces a wholesale and
titanic change to the composition and structure of the
Martian government.
By the result of a secret meeting, held yesterday, the
Consortium of Martian leaders, has agreed,
posthumously and in absentia, to unite behind the
leadership of the one formerly known as Lee Roberts.
Mr. Roberts will hereto assume the single role of
principal authority on the planet, and its near space.
All entities will fall under his dominion, whether
they be citizens, resident aliens, Earther’s, or
other visiting parties.
Mr. Roberts will have sole responsibility for deciding
and shaping the course of Martian events and all will
yield to his absolute authority and supreme judgement.
Furthermore, Mr. Roberts will from this point be know
as “Martusianâ€_, or “The Martusianâ€_ when spoken
of in the third person. A commemorative Martian Gold
and Platinum crown will be placed upon his regal brow
at the ascendancy ceremony to be held March 1st, which
will be broadcast on Mars Tel-Net Channel 1. (Formerly
of the Consortium News Service Channel 1)
By his sole authority, the Martusian has comanded that
all observers whom cannot physically attend the
ascendancy ceremony will watch the ceremony, on Mars
Channel 1, (Tivo tapings will suffice for those
working in the mines during the ceremony, as long as
the viewing of said ceremony occurs immediately after
work shifts have been completed.) A small surcharge
will apply to all viewers, which will be applied
toward the cost of said ceremony. Monthly cable bills
will note the item as (Miscellaneous Charge $99* )â€_
Furthermore, all holdings and properties formerly of
the Mars Global Consortium will now be sole property
of the Martusian. Additionally, the ruling council
will now consist of the Martusian, and the heads of
government will be selectively appointed directly by
the Martusian and his administrative staff.
Recent senior job openings have arisen in all
government offices, law enforcement agencies, and
corporate entities. Please feel free to apply for any
such openings so desired by visiting the Marswideweb
at MarsGov.Mars, (formerly
MarsDemocraticConsortium.Mars)
We know that this transition may be somewhat of an
inconvenience to some parties, but please bear with us
while we complete the small changeover process. Please
continue to conduct business as usual, and obey all
laws until clear Notices of Changeâ€_ can be
posted.
Finally, do not fret, more press releases will follow
shortly which will describe in exacting detail the
prescribed manner for living your lives.

Mars Press Office, by direction of The MartusianIt matters not what you ampaign I am a leader of
action so say I...

Mars Global News Service
Press Release from Martian Consortium Press Officeâ€_
Subject: New Leadership of Mars
Fellow citizens, it is with great pride and enthusiasm
that the press office announces a wholesale and
titanic change to the composition and structure of the
Martian government.
By the result of a secret meeting, held yesterday, the
Consortium of Martian leaders, has agreed,
posthumously and in absentia, to unite behind the
leadership of the one formerly known as Lee Roberts.
Mr. Roberts will hereto assume the single role of
principal authority on the planet, and its near space.
All entities will fall under his dominion, whether
they be citizens, resident aliens, Earther’s, or
other visiting parties.
Mr. Roberts will have sole responsibility for deciding
and shaping the course of Martian events and all will
yield to his absolute authority and supreme judgement.
Furthermore, Mr. Roberts will from this point be know
as “Martusianâ€_, or “The Martusianâ€_ when spoken
of in the third person. A commemorative Martian Gold
and Platinum crown will be placed upon his regal brow
at the ascendancy ceremony to be held March 1st, which
will be broadcast on Mars Tel-Net Channel 1. (Formerly
of the Consortium News Service Channel 1)
By his sole authority, the Martusian has comanded that
all observers whom cannot physically attend the
ascendancy ceremony will watch the ceremony, on Mars
Channel 1, (Tivo tapings will suffice for those
working in the mines during the ceremony, as long as
the viewing of said ceremony occurs immediately after
work shifts have been completed.) A small surcharge
will apply to all viewers, which will be applied
toward the cost of said ceremony. Monthly cable bills
will note the item as (Miscellaneous Charge $99* )â€_
Furthermore, all holdings and properties formerly of
the Mars Global Consortium will now be sole property
of the Martusian. Additionally, the ruling council
will now consist of the Martusian, and the heads of
government will be selectively appointed directly by
the Martusian and his administrative staff.
Recent senior job openings have arisen in all
government offices, law enforcement agencies, and
corporate entities. Please feel free to apply for any
such openings so desired by visiting the Marswideweb
at MarsGov.Mars, (formerly
MarsDemocraticConsortium.Mars)
We know that this transition may be somewhat of an
inconvenience to some parties, but please bear with us
while we complete the small changeover process. Please
continue to conduct business as usual, and obey all
laws until clear “Notices of Changeâ€_ can be
posted.
Finally, do not fret, more press releases will follow
shortly which will describe in exacting detail the
prescribed manner for living your livesâ€_


Fellow humans,

Under my leadership and guidance, I have proved
that it is the future, as well as saved countless
people from old drivers via the council system
implemented 3 years ago today. These are but steps
towards a great cathedral I plan to build on Mars.
Below is the newest "system."

8 hours. That is the required amount of sleep the
body needs. So earth scientists say. But with the
latest and newest Red-Obsidian discovered in the
Keelie' caves deep in the valley's of Mars, lies a
secret that will change this. Red-Obsidian is 14
times sharper than a earthly scalpel. So fine is it's
edge, that no scars are left after cutting human
flesh, even with multiple incisions.
When I asked my team of Martian Scientists to find a
way to cut sleep time down, they came upon a
miraculous discovery. The mind only needs 2 hours
sleep...as does the body! The secret to less sleep
and more productivity lies in the limbs! With the
removal of each limb (one hour each) before bedtime,
productivity would be doubled! Soon, instead of
saying; "...did you brush your teeth before bed kids?"
You'll soon be hearing; "...remember to itch before I
unlimb you..."

Ah...to the future!

Join me and sign PROP 42 into Martian Legislation, and
together we can double the productivity of all
Martians!

The soon to be: PRESIDENT MARSDEN

paid for by the Unlimbing Cats Before Federation

Perhaps, my Esteemed Opponents, there IS a chance of
reconciliation between our disparate parties.(let me
caveat by saying that this offer should be held in the
strictest confidence, as the voting public really
wouldn't understand, and I would just deny making it
if anyone attempted to expose me)
A Consortium, built with the Cash of the
Grizard/Marsco Party, the Ambition of the B.P.A.
Party, the Robotic Power of the Bailey Cyborg Party,
and now that this Dominion Tank has thrown his hat in,
we have a Psychotic Figurhead to represent the whole
shebang!
The "Good People of Mars" have a proven track record
of rabidly adhering to a Maniacal Leader, and now we
have the perfect One! If we all fall in line behind
this... well this new Juggernaut, we can control
everything behind his Broad Transforming Back, each
taking their own piece of the profit, and the Public
being none the wiser!
Look, I'm a simple Politician/Madman/Businessman, and
I can smell a good thing when it hits My windshield!
With this Scheme, er, uh, Political Coalition, we can
all rule where it matters to each of us; B.P.A party,
earth destruction; Grizard/Marsco Party, genetically
altered apes and "safety glass"; Cyborg party, AI
rights... We All Win!!!
So look, think it over... You're all smart Folks.
Let's Make a Better Mars. Together.

Greetings Planetary dwellers....

I humbly, and in late fashion throw my hat into this
farce of a political race that I prefer to call the
circus. The other candidates, whom will remain
unmentioned as I have lost track of the last count,
the ballot already hosts 284 candidates, are merely
wasting your and my time. I am going to run under a
very simple plan, no big words, no timely advise, no
slandering or colorful backdrops with mountain
bikes....

Why....because I am limited on vocabulary , I am
always late, I can't keep up with the colorful
bickerings of my opponents nor their false promises
and I don't have a bike....but I got a Jeep and
Martians Love Jeeps.....

Lets face it, it comes down to this vote for me or I
will destroy you, if you vote for another candidate I
will destroy them, it is within my power and I am a
sore loser.


I don't like Rhesus Monkeys, Gorillas...Trees, Milk,
Mountain Bikes, Rich Bastards, traffic jams or long
walks in the park....even by myself...I like
Transformers and I have built one that is life sized
and will enable me to enslave, nay lead you. Vote for
me, NOW!



(paid for by the Committe That will Crush Your Asses
If you Don't Vote For Me-In Association with
Hasbro-Takara Industries)

Friends, Martians, others.....
I stand before you today at once both dismayed and
hopeful.
Yea dismayed, for the unworthy opponents that have
been placed in my
path to
ultimate victory. Dismayed that I had to enter this
race, forced to
save my
planet from the diabolical machinations of such
unmitigated hooligans
as the
Grizards, T. Bailey, T. DiGiurco, J. Tibbets and let
us not forget A.
Marsden.
At the same time I am hopeful. I know I can do
bettter. Though Mr.
Marsden
seems to think I am wasting milk, all he has proven is
his own
ignorance.
The milk is being used to fertilize vast forests of a
new genetically
modified poplar tree (Populus niterramilkifolium).
This same tree will
break our dependency on the earthlings for their wood.
I can't tell
you how
many times I have heard, "I'd support breaking away
from earth if not
for
having to build that rocking chair next week", or the
like. Now we
will be
able to say, "DAMN THE EARTHLINGS AND THEIR PRECIOUS
WOOD!". We will
have
wood you can build with right here on Mars!
AND.......you can drink
the
sap! That's right citizens! Pure genius!
The other reason I have hope is that I know that YOU,
the Martian
citizenry
will choose wisely, will see the corruption, gridlock
and lies of my
opponents. The Grizards talk of monkeys as if they
weren't simply a
food
product. Mr. Tibbets probably doesn't even know what
stereoscopic
means.
Mr. DiGiurco only cares about his bike. Mr. Bailey
wants to feed old
people
to machines. And last but not least, Mr. Marsden
wants to do something
lame. I can't make out what it is yet, but be
assured, it's a BAD
SYSTEM.
A vote for Melvin is a vote for prosperity, a vote for
freedom, a vote
for
massive milky wood.
(paid for by the Melvin Has Massive Milky Wood
Committee)

I, and the B.P.A. party together welcome and embrace
the Fellowship and Co-operation of the Cold Weather
Party! What better way to march to Victory over the
Earthling Scum than Hand in Hand with our AI and
Cyborg brothers! Their great strength, iron will, and
tenacity have been proven time and time again in
countless cyborg uprisings that have always been the
Spice of Life here on Mars.
Yes, though many of my friends, collegues and even
family members have been mercilessly slaughtered by
these rampant artificial life forms, I am proud that
they will be on board for the Glorious Invasion to
come!!!
Welcome Brothers!!!
(paid for by the coalition to trick all artificial
life forms into joining the b.p.a. party so that we
can use them to conquer earth and then melt them all
down into cattle feed) c'mon...we gotta have an alliance vs. the
coldweather/B.P.A. party

(Commercial opens on me, standing triumphantly in
front of a Martian flag)
My fellow Martians, I can give you plenty of reasons
to vote for me . reasons why I'm the better candidate.
But don't take my word for it . listen to what
concerned Martian citizens are saying about my
opponents:
(Scene changes to a guy in a hospital . you can barely
hear his voice over the hum of an iron lung and other
life-saving gadgets)
"Marsden drilled a giant hole in my chest . now I
can't work. He said I'd be able to travel on the
subway better . but, the doctors say I'll never be
able to leave this room. Now my family hates me.
Thanks for nothing, Marsden."
(Scene changes to an old guy leaning up against the
railing of a deck . she's a shocking figure, with one
leg missing and giant chunks missing from various
other spots on her body)
"Jason Tibbetts thought I was a Christmas tree and
tried to cut me down. It was awful (sob, sob). All the
hacking and chopping .(sob) . I can't say any more ."
(Scene changes to a child who is so thin that he looks
like a concentration camp survivor)
"Mrs. Grizard told me not to eat meat because it made
the animals sad and cry. My mommy says they discovered
that plants feel bad when you eat them. Now I can't
eat anything. Do you have a piece of gum I can chew on
mister?"
(Back to me in front of the Martian flag)
From the evidence I have presented, it is obvious that
my opponents hate people. If one of them becomes your
president, how long until the humans are in cages and
the microbes are back in charge of the planet?
The choice is simple . vote for me.
(paid for by the Anti-Chest Hole Foundation)
--- Trevor Bailey <super_deluxe23@yahoo.comwrote:
My poor, disheveled Martians,
Have you become tired of lies, ignorance, greed and
hate?
Are you concerned about my opponents' simian pasts
and
genetic plans for the future?
Would you want your DNA bred with that of an
orangutan
or ape?
I say no, let these minorities be. My opponents
pander
to the fleshy minority, but I ask you, my AI friends
to look past these hate mongers and vote for me.
Vote
for a free Mars. Vote for lesser taxes on your
Hydrogen Cells, lesser taxes on your replacement
bionics. Men, Robots and Cyborgs can all live as
one.
And with my flat tax system we can all work together
to restore Mars to a place of beauty.
We don't need masses of genetically altered,
inferior
fleshys littering our streets. Put them back in the
factory. We don't need politicians who rewrite
history
books saying things like the Earth massacre never
occurred.
We need unity.
At this point in my campaign I would also like to
announce my new alliance with the BPA party. Today,
the Cold Weather party and the BPA party have
decided
to work together. This bold new alliance will put an
end to the tyranny and lies.
BPA - protecting the real Martians.
(Paid for by the hydrogen cell AI and Cyborg
alliance)

My poor, disheveled Martians,
Have you become tired of lies, ignorance, greed and
hate?
Are you concerned about my opponents’ simian pasts
and
genetic plans for the future?
Would you want your DNA bred with that of an orangutan
or ape?
I say no, let these minorities be. My opponents pander
to the fleshy minority, but I ask you, my AI friends
to look past these hate mongers and vote for me. Vote
for a free Mars. Vote for lesser taxes on your
Hydrogen Cells, lesser taxes on your replacement
bionics. Men, Robots and Cyborgs can all live as one.
And with my flat tax system we can all work together
to restore Mars to a place of beauty.
We don't need masses of genetically altered, inferior
fleshys littering our streets. Put them back in the
factory. We don’t need politicians who rewrite
history
books saying things like the Earth massacre never
occurred.
We need unity.
At this point in my campaign I would also like to
announce my new alliance with the BPA party. Today,
the Cold Weather party and the BPA party have decided
to work together. This bold new alliance will put an
end to the tyranny and lies.
BPA - protecting the real Martians.
(Paid for by the hydrogen cell AI and Cyborg alliance)

Capitals? Or Capitalism?!?!?!
You Decide...
Gorilla Party?
Hmmmmmmmmm... (heil tibbets)

Martians, would you really cast your votes for someone
whose speeches are littered with randomly capitalized
words?

A vote for the BPA party is a vote for bad grammar!

A vote for the Gorilla Party is a vote for peace and
prosperity!

That is all.
Jason Tibbetts

Choose This Day Whom Ye Will Serve... These Blatantly
Anti-Martian Forces, These Pro-Earth Fanaglers,These
Time-Traveling Distorters of the Truth...
Or The True-Red, Mars Loving, Bearers of Planetary
Pride!
When Earth lay in Ashes, its Pathetic Verminous
Creatures Consumed in Righteous Martian Flames, Then
will you know Whom it was that carried you all to
Glory!!! Even My esteemed Opponent's Company MARSCo,
will smolder among the Ruins, for you see, if you will
but check The Very Web-site in question, his Company
Sports an Oh-So-Telling Earth Address!!! Yes!!! He,
and I suspect even the heretofore respected Grizards,
are in League with the Earthling Scum!!! Why, this
very minute they could be plotting to sabotage the
Glorious Invasion, and Sell all the Good People of
mars up the River!!!
Vote B.P.A. !!!! Vote Mars!!! Heil Tibbets!!! Heil
Tibbetts!!! Heil Tibbetts!!!
YYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(paid for by Microsoft)

Choose This Day Whom Ye Will Serve... These Blatantly
Anti-Martian Forces, These Pro-Earth Fanaglers,These
Time-Traveling Distorters of the Truth...
Or The True-Red, Mars Loving, Bearers of Planetary
Pride!
When Earth lay in Ashes, its Pathetic Verminous
Creatures Consumed in Righteous Martian Flames, Then
will you know Whom it was that carried you all to
Glory!!! Even My esteemed Opponent's Company MARSCo,
will smolder among the Ruins, for you see, if you will
but check The Very Web-site in question, his Company
Sports an Oh-So-Telling Earth Address!!! Yes!!! He,
and I suspect even the heretofore respected Grizards,
are in League with the Earthling Scum!!! Why, this
very minute they could be plotting to sabotage the
Glorious Invasion, and Sell all the Good People of
mars up the River!!!
Vote B.P.A. !!!! Vote Mars!!! Heil Tibbets!!! Heil
Tibbetts!!! Heil Tibbetts!!!
YYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(paid for by Microsoft)

Voters of Mars...my opponent and arch rival Mr.
Tibbetts has attacked me by saying:

"His Corporation, MARSCO Inc. has been funding not only
the research and production of the Grizard Apes, but
has also been pivotal in the recent attempts to
REWRITE HISTORY by convincing the General Martian
Public that it is the future, and that we, the People
of Mars, actually came from that stinking cesspool,
EARTH!"
My good people, this is just one more lie from the
B.P.A.
party that must be addressed. My company, Marsco has
nothing to do with gorillas and history, it has to do
with the
manufacturing of heat-reflective safety glass for the
appliance
industry. Boring yes, but it is the truth:

http://www.marsco-mfg.com/

Join me, and slowly we will chop the foundation out of
my
oppositions claims.

Working together for a redder Mars.

paid for by the Unclear Clan BenevolenceMy fellow Martians, your eyes and souls have been
filled with lies from the B.P.A.
party for longer than you may realize...

Of course it's not the year 2004, anyone with a
gorillas brain could figure that out.
Why just ask any Earth bound scholar to tell you why
the year 1999 is considered the:
"20th Century". I'll tell you why: "Year-rounding"
which is the fault of none other than
the late Diamond "J" himself: Jesus Christ.

You see as a young carpenter in Bethlehem, (the
capital for breeding sows at the time) - Jesus
was a fraud. He simply noticed patterns. Stormy day?
Well then threaten someone
with the knowledge of thunder that follows. Is the
whole town against you? Then say
they've "eclipsed" your anger and show them how you
blot out the sun. These scientific
observations were what he really excelled at, not
math.

The same fraudulent ways followed him to his
profession of carpentry. The man didn't
know a number 5 from his left hand. He simply
rounded-off measurements of many a dilapidated
and ramshackle houses that weakly shadowed the city at
sunset. After years of torturing
people with these "Elemental Threats" he was asked to
invent a calendar by the scared and
often tortured townsfolk. But due to his un-god like
arithmetic, he misnamed entire centuries!

That, my fellow citizens is the true history of Earth,
a history of which the B.P.A. party hopes you won't
understand, or will be too offended by to listen to.

B.P.A. - Bethlehem's Poorest Arithmetic.

Ask y

ourself why the B.P.A. party is so insistent on
it being the year 2004, I'll tell you why:
There fear of my secret weapon, which until now I was
going to keep a secret: Proposition
455, Body Storage.

(more on this later)

paid for by the Undead Caribou Breeders

Since when has Time Travel been a legitimate counter
to Character Defamation? 2010? Ancient X-Box games?
And since when has ANY Red-Blooded Martian Desired to
visit The Cursed surface of the Degraded Planet Earth?
Laughable? No.
Insane? Quite Probably!
These Ramblings of "We live in the future" could very
well be all the Smear any Campaign needed to totally
Discredit the Grizard Ticket! (note appropriate
spelling)
Not that I am Defending "Carsden for President" or
anything... He is just as unstable, if not more so,
than the Grizards, and just as Corrupt!
Ladies and Gentlemen of Mars, I am prepared to give
Xerographic, Stereoscopic, and Psychographic Evidence
that, Not only is it the year 2004, That these
Genetically Altered Gorillas exist and thrive on the
brains of those living in the Valley Slums, but that
Adrian MARSden is Financially involved in BOTH
Scandals!!!
His Corporation, MARSCO Inc. has been funding not only
the research and production of the Grizard Apes, but
has also been pivotal in the recent attempts to
REWRITE HISTORY by convincing the General Martian
Public that it is the future, and that we, the People
of Mars, actually came from that stinking cesspool,
EARTH!
A Vote for the B.P.A. Party would not only cease this
research, and the onslaught of Lies and Chicanery
accompaning it, but it would put the wheels in motion
for a FULL-SCALE INVASION OF EARTH!!!
It is our Destiny, Citizens, to Destroy this Stinking,
Foul Orb of Decadence and Vice! Join us NOW, and bring
an end to the lies, and the Sickening Planet, EARTH!!!
(paid for by the save the valley slums from
brain-eating grizard apes coalition)

Ladies and Gentlemen,

My intent in this campaign was to remain far away from
the mud-slinging, scare-tactics and slandering, but
when my own good name (misspelled by my opponent, of
course) and the good name of my husband (also
misspelled) have been slandered, I must defend us.

Our opponent, Mr. MARSden, has accused us of using our
vast wealth to genetically convert all gorillas into
"reese" monkeys (a species I have never heard of -- I
suspect our opponent means "rhesus" monkeys) with the
letter G imprinted on their fur. There has never been
such a spurious and baseless accusation. First, as
anyone schooled in primatology, or even basic Earth
history would know, rhesus monkeys are plentiful,
while gorillas were forced into extinction in the year
2010 by deforesation and bush-meat hunting on the
great Earth continent of Africa. Is Mr. MARSden
suggesting that we somehow brought gorillas back from
extinction just to convert them into more of the
rhesus monkeys that now overrun every major African
city looking for Snickers bars and heroin? I hardly
think so. I would like to see Mr. MARSden's
"evidence" of such an act. I suspect he has none.

Additionally, he has spoken of our "great wealth" -- I
find this laughable. Our meager salaries have been
squandered for ages upon Earth objects such as "X-Box"
games, antique visual devices called DVDs, ancient
computer parts, a car that uses the barbaric "internal
combustion engine" and does not even fly, and
vacations to parts of Earth that have long since been
destroyed by human greed.

In summation, ladies and gentlemen of Mars, I
seriously doubt that you want for President a man who
has fabricated every story he has ever told (see such
stories as "Hitler lives on South Padre Island," well
documented in Earth's historical database), misspells
even the most basic of his opponents' names, and makes
baseless accusations against those who have said
nothing bad about him. A pathological liar for Mars'
first president? Martians deserve better.

(The Committee to Bring Gorillas Back from Extinction
is Responsible for the Content of this Advertisement.)When will the Madness End?!?!?

First, it was Scurrilous Remarks about My Voting
Record, then, Accusations that I planned to Drown the
Valley Slums, and now...
Threatening, Nay, even Racially Motivated Hate
Messages left on my Own personal answering machine?!
What's Next, Speculation regarding whom is Funding my
Campaign?!?!
Fellow Martians, Don't We deserve better?
(paid for by the destroy mars for future generations
movement)

Native Martians?
Who are these Native Martians?
Were any of us Really Born Here?
Friends and Neighbors of this Great Martian
Republic, I ask you... Does this Race have room for
Racism? Does a New Immigrant to these Vast Red Shores
deserve less of the Rich Bounties She offers?
I say Nay!!! All this talk of, "Tax these
foreigners", or, "Tax those foreigners" is missing a
Vitally Important point... We are All of us
Foreigners!!! Who among us was born here? Not a One!
Only the Single-Celled Organisms infesting Mars' Rich
Russet soil are the True Native Martians!!!
So How can we pick upon any Minority to bear the
brunt of the Deficit which belongs to all of Us? A
Vote for the B.P.A. Party is a Vote for Fairness, a
Vote for Justice, and now, it seems, a Vote Against
Racism!!!
(paid for by the commitee to triple the oxidation tax
on foreigners)

My family came to Mars 14 years ago. We didn't own
anything but the oxygen on our backs. Since then,
we've
created a 14 billion dollar economy (earth money)
with the help
of our revolutionary "hook" and "council" systems
Marswide.
Innovations and ideas made me the Martian I am
today. I'm
a simple man, making the most of our new planet like
so many
other Martians before me have and will continue to
do.
My opponents however, know nothing of strife. Take
for example Mr.
Bailey - who inherited South Africa for his 19th
birthday. Or Mr.
Melvin - who has so much money to waist he converted
the Red Sea
to milk to satisfy his dairy cravings. Or Mr. Brown
- who singlehandidly
managed to turn all women androgenous. And lets not
forget the
worst of em' all, Mr. & Mrs. Grizzard - who had such
a lavish fortune
they decided they had nothing better to do then
genetically convert all
Gorillas into common reese monkeys, genetically
bread to have a "G"
imprinted on there fur.
Ladies and gentlemen, if this kind of lavish
oversight and flagrent abuse
of money is how you want your Martian future, then
by all means vote
for any of the above. But if you want a redder
Mars, you need look no further
than me and my proposition 324 that will impleiment
a oxidation tax on all
familys new to Mars - giving us native-born Martians
a much needed tax
break.
paid for by the Unhappy Caribou Breeders

(Commercial opens with a solemn shot of me on a
mountain bike ... Mars' red mountains towering
triumphantly in the background)
When I started this campaign to become your
President,
fellow Martians, I vowed to run a clean campaign ...
free from negative attacks ... free from harsh
criticism.
However, I cannot - and will not - allow my opponent
to tell outrageous lies that slander my very
character.
Yes, I have built and rebuilt a mountain bike. But,
I
have never attempted to make myself appear better or
richer than you, my fellow citizens.
In fact, I have built and rebuilt because I am
flexible and know when to adapt. I’m not afraid to
get
my hands dirty to make an improvement. Most
importantly ... I am a visionary. I know how to
prepare for the ever-changing and often uncertain
future.
Mr. Bailey would have you believe that this vision
is
a liability ... that being prepared is unnecessary.
But, Mr. Bailey is living in a fantasy world where
bad
things never happen.
I know for a fact that Mr. Bailey lacks even the
most
basic foresight to bring a spare tube on a mountain
bike ride. I have personally had to offer
replacements
from my own emergency supply.
I ask you: How can you trust a man that can't even
prepare for a mountain bike ride? I'll tell you the
answer my friends: You can't.
Be prepared. Share my vision. Vote for me.
(Paid for by the United Cable Broadcasters)

Ladies and Gentlemen,
Let me introduce you to "dirt bike" Digiurco.
After squandering much of his campaign money
"rebuilding" or "building" a better Mountain bike
to
flaunt his affluency, Mr. Digiurco has ignored the
needs of the children. While many of you are going
hungry eating red rice and martian beans, Mr.
DiGiurco
has been lavishing in your tax money.
In one conversation Mr. Digiurco was known as
"Caruso
Deluxe." This secondary persona has been known to
flagrently impersonate Police officers with poorly
drawn porkchop sideburns.
Do you really need a man who creates a fantasy
life
in
which he chased down "drug dealers" and
impersonates
our hard working police?
Vote no on Mr. Digiurco and vote yes on a free
Mars.

Friends, Martians, countrymen as Mr. Marsden
claims to have the safety and security of our
great planet in his best interest. He alleges
that he himself embodies the spirit of the very planet.
He claims a lot of things.
Take for instance recent negative smear ads
urging
me
to tell voters that my real name is R.O.N. What
my
opponent has forgotten is that he himself made
up
this
false name in an attempt to slander my good
character.
Do you want a man that can’t even remember his
own
absurd creations running our planet? I say the
answer
to that question is "no." Remember that, and say
"no"
to Marsden before he forgets what planet he is
even
on.
(Paid for by the T.O.M. (Tom Owns Mars)

My fellow Martians...If Mr. DiGiurco's
flagrant
oversight
of my last name is any indication of his
leadership...then we
could be in deep trouble. Take for example
his
last
rebuttal:
"what Mr. Marden won't
tell you in these ads is that for years, he
has
been
hiding behind a massive wall of assumed
aliases."
Do you want a man running for President that
can't
even spell
the word: MARS? One doesn't need to look to
far
into
Mr. DiGiurco's past to see blatant hypocrisy
at
every turn.
Speaking of aliases...why not tell the voters
your
real name R.O.N.?
(Ron Unger Nigenthal)
Paid for by the Marsden IS Mars foundation

My fellow Martian citizens, time and time
again
my
opponent Mr. Bailey has claimed to have
lived
in
colder weather than anyone.
This is an outright lie that Mr. Bailey has
concocted
to pander to our frigid friends at the North
and
South
poles of our fine planet. When, in fact, Mr.
Bailey
was born and raised in California back on
earth.
Everyone knows earth has one of the warmest
climates
in our universe.
Now, I must ask you the voters: do you want
a
bold-faced liar controlling your future? How
long
until he claims to have lived on redder
planets
than
anyone?
This November, don't be a complete moron and
waste
a
vote on Mr. Bailey. Vote for me ... I rule.
(paid for by the Association of Red Dirt

(Commercial opens with a solemn shot of me on a
mountain bike ... Mars' red mountains towering
triumphantly in the background)
When I started this campaign to become your
President,
fellow Martians, I vowed to run a clean campaign ...
free from negative attacks ... free from harsh
criticism.
However, I cannot - and will not - allow my opponent
to tell outrageous lies that slander my very
character.
Yes, I have built and rebuilt a mountain bike. But,
I
have never attempted to make myself appear better or
richer than you, my fellow citizens.
In fact, I have built and rebuilt because I am
flexible and know when to adapt. I’m not afraid to
get
my hands dirty to make an improvement. Most
importantly ... I am a visionary. I know how to
prepare for the ever-changing and often uncertain
future.
Mr. Bailey would have you believe that this vision
is
a liability ... that being prepared is unnecessary.
But, Mr. Bailey is living in a fantasy world where
bad
things never happen.
I know for a fact that Mr. Bailey lacks even the
most
basic foresight to bring a spare tube on a mountain
bike ride. I have personally had to offer
replacements
from my own emergency supply.
I ask you: How can you trust a man that can't even
prepare for a mountain bike ride? I'll tell you the
answer my friends: You can't.
Be prepared. Share my vision. Vote for me.
(Paid for by the United Cable Broadcasters)=

Ladies and Gentlemen,
Let me introduce you to "dirt bike" Digiurco.
After squandering much of his campaign money
"rebuilding" or "building" a better Mountain bike
to
flaunt his affluency, Mr. Digiurco has ignored the
needs of the children. While many of you are going
hungry eating red rice and martian beans, Mr.
DiGiurco
has been lavishing in your tax money.
In one conversation Mr. Digiurco was known as
"Caruso
Deluxe." This secondary persona has been known to
flagrently impersonate Police officers with poorly
drawn porkchop sideburns.
Do you really need a man who creates a fantasy
life
in
which he chased down "drug dealers" and
impersonates
our hard working police?
Vote no on Mr. Digiurco and vote yes on a free
Mars.

Friends, Martians, countrymen as Mr. Marsden
claims
to
have the safety and security of our great planet
in
his best interest. He alleges that he himself
embodies
the spirit of the very planet.
He claims a lot of things.
Take for instance recent negative smear ads
urging
me
to tell voters that my real name is R.O.N. What
my
opponent has forgotten is that he himself made
up
this
false name in an attempt to slander my good
character.
Do you want a man that can’t even remember his
own
absurd creations running our planet? I say the
answer
to that question is "no." Remember that, and say
"no"
to Marsden before he forgets what planet he is
even
on.
(Paid for by the T.O.M. (Tom Owns Mars)

My fellow Martians...If Mr. DiGiurco's
flagrant
oversight
of my last name is any indication of his
leadership...then we
could be in deep trouble. Take for example
his
last
rebuttal:
"what Mr. Marden won't
tell you in these ads is that for years, he
has
been
hiding behind a massive wall of assumed
aliases."
Do you want a man running for President that
can't
even spell
the word: MARS? One doesn't need to look to
far
into
Mr. DiGiurco's past to see blatant hypocrisy
at
every turn.
Speaking of aliases...why not tell the voters
your
real name R.O.N.?
(Ron Unger Nigenthal)
Paid for by the Marsden IS Mars foundation

From: Tom DiGiurco
My fellow Martian citizens, time and time
again
my
opponent Mr. Bailey has claimed to have
lived
in
colder weather than anyone.
This is an outright lie that Mr. Bailey has
concocted
to pander to our frigid friends at the North
and
South
poles of our fine planet. When, in fact, Mr.
Bailey
was born and raised in California back on
earth.
Everyone knows earth has one of the warmest
climates
in our universe.
Now, I must ask you the voters: do you want
a
bold-faced liar controlling your future? How
long
until he claims to have lived on redder
planets
than
anyone?
This November, don't be a complete moron and
waste
a
vote on Mr. Bailey. Vote for me ... I rule.
(paid for by the Association of Red Dirt

On this history-changing day I find myself at an
impasse. I have heard
all
the candidates with their rhetoric and perpetuation of
the current
GRIDLOCK
paradigm. I have heard nothing of substance, nothing
that the people
of
this great red planet can embrace. OK, Mr. Tibbets
being a tree farmer
is
cool, but other than that, NOTHING!
I have been lead to a definite conclusion, an epiphany
if you will: I
WILL
BE A BETTER PRESIDENT THAN ANY OF THEM! In addition,
the only solution
to
this GRIDLOCK that they perpetuate is to have them all
executed and fed
to
the poor when I win. That's real problem solving for
the real people
that
inhabit our red planet. Of the utmost importance is
the unequivocal
fact
that I am the woodsmaster! That cannot be denied. So
when you go to
vote,
vote for the only candidate against GRIDLOCK. Vote
for Dairy Deluxe
(yeah,
yeah).
(paid for by the Martian Milk Council for Dairy
Deluxe)

Ladies and Gentlemen, I could spend the entirety of
this campaign defending, not only my own, but the
trivial foibles of ALL esteemed members of this
presidential caucus... But this is not what this race
is about.

This race is about the People... This race is about
the Environment... This race is about... MARS.
What, if the People will allow me to ask, do my
Honored Opponents plan to do about the
835,267,987,442,467,990,365 Martian Dollar deficit?
What, if anything do they plan to enact in the way
of New Laws to curtail Mutant Violence in the Valley
Slums?
How, may I ask, do they plan to stem the tide of
Martian Global Warming, and the ensuing flooding which
threatens those same Valley Slums?
Planning, Ladies and Gentlemen, Careful planning and
Strategy are the only True Rewards of Honest
Government... Why, the B.P.A. Party is, at this
moment, drawing up the plans to alleviate these and
many other crises afflicting our dear planet, and
every Vote that goes B.P.A. is another step closer to
getting those plans enacted!!!

In Closing, Esteemed Citizenry, why should we stoop
to petty name-calling and bickering, when the B.P.A.
party is Ready to Serve!
(paid for by citizens for the flooding of valley
slums)
--- Adrian Grey Marsden <carsden@earthlink.netwrote:
Elegant words from a very un-elegant source.
Tell us Mr. Tibbetts, what exactly does the B.P.A.
party stand for? And while your spinning
fairy tales to the good people of Mars, explain-away
your real name, as it appears on your birth
certificate:
"Goldie Coldie, Bitch-ho OFthePoutch Pacific, god
damm he bust a cap in your ass oh yeahhh"
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree my good
people. With parents like Mr. Tibbetts's, who needs
Presidents?
My new bill, "Carsden Cares 232" will forbid parents
from damming there children with
unintelligible names. Forever ending this
unfortunate damming spiral.
paid for by the Mogey-Paw foundation

Words...
What are words?
Tools?
Amusements?
BITTER WEAPONS?!?!
Honored Brothers and Sisters of Mars, isn't it
Time
we had a Candidate who will turn His attentions to
The
Issues? The Cold, Hard Facts?
Isn't it Time we Supported a Candidate who,
instead
of using Words to Tell the People what is Wrong
with
his Opponents, uses Words to Celebrate what is
Right
with MARS!!!
As Candidate for the High Office of the
President of
Mars, I, Jason Tibbetts, and the B.P.A. Party as a
Whole, will run a Campaign based on the Issues,
the
Facts, and the Hope for a Brighter, Redder
Tommorrow!
YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mars... Red Because it Cares.
(paid for by the B.P.A. martian national
commitee)

Elegant words from a very un-elegant source.

Tell us Mr. Tibbetts, what exactly does the B.P.A.
party stand for? And while your spinning
fairy tales to the good people of Mars, explain-away
your real name, as it appears on your birth
certificate:

"Goldie Coldie, Bitch-ho OFthePoutch Pacific, god damm
he bust a cap in your ass oh yeahhh"

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree my good
people. With parents like Mr. Tibbetts's, who needs
Presidents?

My new bill, "Carsden Cares 232" will forbid parents
from damming there children with
unintelligible names. Forever ending this unfortunate
downward spiral.

paid for by the Mogey-Paw foundation



Words...
What are words?
Tools?
Amusements?
BITTER WEAPONS?!?!
Honored Brothers and Sisters of Mars, isn't it Time
we had a Candidate who will turn His attentions to The
Issues? The Cold, Hard Facts?
Isn't it Time we Supported a Candidate who, instead
of using Words to Tell the People what is Wrong with
his Opponents, uses Words to Celebrate what is Right
with MARS!!!
As Candidate for the High Office of the President of
Mars, I, Jason Tibbetts, and the B.P.A. Party as a
Whole, will run a Campaign based on the Issues, the
Facts, and the Hope for a Brighter, Redder Tommorrow!
YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mars... Red Because it Cares.
(paid for by the B.P.A. martian national commitee)

Words...
What are words?
Tools?
Amusements?
BITTER WEAPONS?!?!
Honored Brothers and Sisters of Mars, isn't it Time
we had a Candidate who will turn His attentions to The
Issues? The Cold, Hard Facts?
Isn't it Time we Supported a Candidate who, instead
of using Words to Tell the People what is Wrong with
his Opponents, uses Words to Celebrate what is Right
with MARS!!!
As Candidate for the High Office of the President of
Mars, I, Jason Tibbetts, and the B.P.A. Party as a
Whole, will run a Campaign based on the Issues, the
Facts, and the Hope for a Brighter, Redder Tommorrow!
YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mars... Red Because it Cares.
(paid for by the B.P.A. martian national commitee)

Friends, Martians, countrymen â€_ Mr. Marsden claims
to
have the safety and security of our great planet in
his best interest. He alleges that he himself
embodies
the spirit of the very planet.
He claims a lot of things.
Take for instance recent negative smear ads urging
me
to tell voters that my real name is R.O.N. What my
opponent has forgotten is that he himself made up
this
false name in an attempt to slander my good
character.
Do you want a man that can’t even remember his own
absurd creations running our planet? I say the
answer
to that question is "no." Remember that, and say
"no"
to Marsden before he forgets what planet he is even
on.
(Paid for by the T.O.M. (Tom Owns Mars) Foundation)

My fellow Martians...If Mr. DiGiurco's flagrant
oversight
of my last name is any indication of his
leadership...then we
could be in deep trouble. Take for example his
last
rebuttal:
"what Mr. Marden won't
tell you in these ads is that for years, he has
been
hiding behind a massive wall of assumed aliases."
Do you want a man running for President that can't
even spell
the word: MARS? One doesn't need to look to far
into
Mr. DiGiurco's past to see blatant hypocrisy at
every turn.
Speaking of aliases...why not tell the voters your
real name R.O.N.?
(Ron Unger Nigenthal)
Paid for by the Marsden IS Mars foundation

My fellow Martian citizens, time and time again
my
opponent Mr. Bailey has claimed to have lived in
colder weather than anyone.
This is an outright lie that Mr. Bailey has
concocted
to pander to our frigid friends at the North and
South
poles of our fine planet. When, in fact, Mr.
Bailey
was born and raised in California back on earth.
Everyone knows earth has one of the warmest
climates
in our universe.
Now, I must ask you the voters: do you want a
bold-faced liar controlling your future? How
long
until he claims to have lived on redder planets
than
anyone?
This November, don't be a complete moron and
waste
a
vote on Mr. Bailey. Vote for me ... I rule.
(paid for by the Association of Red Dirt
Farmers)
--- Trevor Bailey <super_deluxe23@yahoo.com>
wrote:
As many of you know Mr. Pandy Jibbetts is
running
for
Mars President.

What you might not know is the excessive
amount
of
tax
money spent on fishing trips, card games and
alcohol.
He's spent more than 2/3's of his campaign
funds
investing in "wizards of the coast".

Do you really want a man that spends his money
investing in card games for little boys? Don't
wait
until he takes them on a fishing trip or to
Mr.
Jacksons Neverland ranch, make your choice
now.

(Paid for by the Mr. Bailey for President
campaign.)



You've seen Mr. Digiurco's adds on TV and
the
internet, stating that he's the best
canidate
to
lead Mars into the next millenium, but have
you
seen
his track record?

Mr. Digiurco's so called "Lucky streak" of
2003
led
to 400,000 deaths by counciling alone. Add
to
this
the hidious ammount of spilled beverages
he's
already soiled Mars with and you'll soon see
we
don't need his sloppy systems.

(Paid for by the Mr. Marsden campaign)



My good people-

Mr. Jason Tibbetts is, without doubt, the worst
candidate running for President
of Mars this November.

Back on Earth, he was a treefarmer! Look out your
windows citizens, and grab
a dictionary for your Martian kids. Does anyone
remember what a tree looks like?
These old relics of earth are the very foundation of
this man's past. Do you really
want someone so "out-of-touch" to be our 1st
President?

Futhermore, in a 1999 documentary about his father by
Barbara Walters, a
drunken Mr. Tibbetts was imortalized saying: "...my
father, was a bitch-pussy-ass."

Take a moment and reflect on that citizens. Imagine a
phrase like that becoming
well-known history on Mars currency.

paid for by the Folkus Foundation For Farsden
My fellow Martians...

My opponent, Mr. Brown was recently quoted in the MARS
Herald saying:

"...My plan for a better Mars Economy is to put a
Gold's Gym on every corner,
similar to earth with it's Starbucks. Lifting weights
would be lighter on Mars,
causing a boost in consumer confidence- thus leading
to a better Martian economy."

That logic might work on dumbells Mr. Brown, but the
citizens of Mars demand
more from an elected official.

This November, remember the color of Mars;

Red. Not Brown.

paid for by the Carsden Coalition Committee

Mr. Bailey running for the Presidency of Mars is an
outrage!
For years he's drawn comparisons between himself and
the greats of history.
But that's all they are citizens: His Story, not the
truth, and not history.

Tell the voters Mr. Bailey, why you lead Sergeant Sufi
to his death (in 1999), only
to be caught on film running away while wearing a
horrible costume.

Additionally, Mr. Bailey conveniently forgets damming
events in his life, constantly
blaming his forgetfulness on a mythical battle with a
man called: QuoQuill.
This treachery must stop now citizens of Mars!

paid for by the bailey must bail-out campaignAs many of you know Mr.

Pandy Jibbetts is running for Mars President.

What you might not know is the excessive amount of tax
money spent on fishing trips, card games and alcohol.
He's spent more than 2/3's of his campaign funds
investing in "wizards of the coast".
Do you really want a man that spends his money
investing in card games for little boys? Don't wait
until he takes them on a fishing trip or to Mr.
Jacksons Neverland ranch, make your choice now.
(Paid for by the Mr. Bailey for President campaign.)

You've seen Mr. Digiurco's adds on TV and the
internet, stating that he's the best canidate to
lead Mars into the next millenium, but have you seen
his track record?
Mr. Digiurco's so called "Lucky streak" of 2003 led
to 400,000 deaths by counciling alone. Add to this
the hidious ammount of spilled beverages he's
already soiled Mars with and you'll soon see we
don't need his sloppy systems.
(Paid for by the Mr. Marsden campaign)My fellow Martians...If Mr. DiGiurco's flagrant
oversight
of my last name is any indication of his
leadership...then we
could be in deep trouble. Take for example his last
rebuttal:

"what Mr. Marden won't
tell you in these ads is that for years, he has been
hiding behind a massive wall of assumed aliases."

Do you want a man running for President that can't
even spell
the word: MARS? One doesn't need to look to far into
Mr. DiGiurco's past to see blatant hypocrisy at every
turn.
Speaking of aliases...why not tell the voters your
real name R.O.N.?
(Ron Unger Nigenthal)

Paid for by the Marsden IS Mars foundation

My fellow Martian citizens, time and time again my
opponent Mr. Bailey has claimed to have lived in
colder weather than anyone.
This is an outright lie that Mr. Bailey has concocted
to pander to our frigid friends at the North and South
poles of our fine planet. When, in fact, Mr. Bailey
was born and raised in California back on earth.
Everyone knows earth has one of the warmest climates
in our universe.
Now, I must ask you the voters: do you want a
bold-faced liar controlling your future? How long
until he claims to have lived on redder planets than
anyone?
This November, don't be a complete moron and waste a
vote on Mr. Bailey. Vote for me ... I rule.
(paid for by the Association of Red Dirt Farmers)

As many of you know Mr. Pandy Jibbetts is running
for
Mars President.
What you might not know is the excessive amount of
tax
money spent on fishing trips, card games and
alcohol.
He's spent more than 2/3's of his campaign funds
investing in "wizards of the coast".
Do you really want a man that spends his money
investing in card games for little boys? Don't wait
until he takes them on a fishing trip or to Mr.
Jacksons Neverland ranch, make your choice now.
(Paid for by the Mr. Bailey for President campaign.)

My fellow Martian citizens, time and time again my
opponent Mr. Bailey has claimed to have lived in
colder weather than anyone.
This is an outright lie that Mr. Bailey has concocted
to pander to our frigid friends at the North and South
poles of our fine planet. When, in fact, Mr. Bailey
was born and raised in California back on earth.
Everyone knows earth has one of the warmest climates
in our universe.
Now, I must ask you the voters: do you want a
bold-faced liar controlling your future? How long
until he claims to have lived on redder planets than
anyone?
This November, don't be a complete moron and waste a
vote on Mr. Bailey. Vote for me ... I rule.
(paid for by the Association of Red Dirt Farmers)

As many of you know Mr. Pandy Jibbetts is running
for
Mars President.
What you might not know is the excessive amount of
tax
money spent on fishing trips, card games and
alcohol.
He's spent more than 2/3's of his campaign funds
investing in "wizards of the coast".
Do you really want a man that spends his money
investing in card games for little boys? Don't wait
until he takes them on a fishing trip or to Mr.
Jacksons Neverland ranch, make your choice now.
(Paid for by the Mr. Bailey for President campaign.)

You've seen Mr. Digiurco's adds on TV and the
internet, stating that he's the best canidate to
lead Mars into the next millenium, but have you
seen
his track record?
Mr. Digiurco's so called "Lucky streak" of 2003
led
to 400,000 deaths by counciling alone. Add to
this
the hidious ammount of spilled beverages he's
already soiled Mars with and you'll soon see we
don't need his sloppy systems.
(Paid for by the Mr. Marsden campaign)

(Martian national anthem playing in background)
My opponent, Mr. Marsden, has challenged my
reputation
in a slurry of viscous television ads. They claim
I'm
unlucky ... that I'm responsible for countless
deaths.
Of course, this isn't true.
But, my fellow Martian citizens, what Mr. Marden
won't
tell you in these ads is that for years, he has been
hiding behind a massive wall of assumed aliases.
Carsden, Caruso Deluxe, Deluxicoff, and most
shockingly, Blackie, are names my opponent has used.
Tell me Mr., ahem, Blackie, what are you hiding
from?
I've got nothing to hide fellow citizens. In fact,
when my new bill becomes law, potential criminals
will
no longer be able to hide behind false names.
(paid for by the DiGiurco Rules commitee)
--- Adrian Grey Marsden <carsden@earthlink.net>
wrote:
You've seen Mr. Digiurco's adds on TV and the
internet, stating that he's the best canidate to
lead Mars into the next millenium, but have you
seen
his track record?
Mr. Digiurco's so called "Lucky streak" of 2003
led
to 400,000 deaths by counciling alone. Add to
this
the hidious ammount of spilled beverages he's
already soiled Mars with and you'll soon see we
don't need his sloppy systems.
(Paid for by the Mr. Marsden campaign)As many of you
know Mr. Pandy Jibbetts is running for Mars President.

What you might not know is the excessive amount of tax
money spent on fishing trips, card games and alcohol.
He's spent more than 2/3's of his campaign funds
investing in "wizards of the coast".
Do you really want a man that spends his money
investing in card games for little boys? Don't wait
until he takes them on a fishing trip or to Mr.
Jacksons Neverland ranch, make your choice now.
(Paid for by the Mr. Bailey for President campaign.)